2002: Turn About is Fair Play - A Letter

To: All Terrorist Extremists Involved in a Fatwa Against the West

From: The Angry People of Color Organization (APCO)(u.s. pat. pend.)

Re: Solidarity

Dear Terrorist Extremists,

We, the Angry People of Color organization, stand in solidarity with your attacks against the Western Oppressive Structure of Power (WOSP).  WOSP has been keeping us down for generations and it is time for them to crumble.  While we support your hatred of our common enemy, we do have a few requests regarding your future actions against WOSP.

Please do not attack any South or Central American country.  Nor focus your justified anger upon nations in Asia, or the Middle East.  Also, please leave all Southern European countries alone.  And the Jews, who have had a rough time of it.  Also the Irish, who have troubles of their own.  And all former Iron Curtain countries, such as Russia, Poland, (former) Yugoslavia, Romania, Ukraine, Slovakia, the Czech Republic, Hungary, Bulgaria, and the Baltic States.  All of these regions have been victimized by the WOSP for the past few centuries and will stand behind your attempts to root out and destroy the insidious evil of the WOSP.

Focus your might upon, well, who’s left?  The English!  They cook poorly and are responsible for most of the trouble in the Middle East anyway.  Oh, but without the English, Israel would never had had a chance to exist, and since we stand in solidarity with our oppressed Jewish brothers and sisters, maybe you’d better leave the English out of it.  But France is fair game, as is Germany.  And Austria.  And Norway and Sweden, too (though they were neutral in the past two World Conflicts, they were Vikings ages ago and caused mayhem and havoc wherever they went).  And the Swiss are sort of like Germans, but with a funny accent.  You can get them.

Upon second thought, what with the EU and all, any attacks on these countries are liable to negatively impact our brothers and sisters in Italy, Spain, Portugal, and Greece.  So, let’s leave Europe alone, shall we?

Instead, focus the sword of your wrath upon the United States of Amerikkka.  But please limit your attacks to those non people of color here.  Do not injure or kill people of any racial decent other than German, French, Dutch, Danish, Swedish, Norwegian, Swiss or Austrian.  And English – their offspring in the US are fair game.

Of course, it now occurs to us that by doing so you would eliminate most of the educated people in this nation (since we ourselves, by our own admission, have been denied an education by the WOSP).  You would also eliminate most of the infrastructure, and most of the businesses.  This would negatively impact upon us, the APCO, and the people we say we represent.  Hmmmm.

This leaves us with the only request we can actually make to you: please go away.

Sincerely,

APCO